Dicta Ira

Nieuport 27

By: Dennis Ugulano

The Nieuport 27 was the last (thank the higher powers) of the "V" strut Nieuports. As my sources inform me, that Franz Schneider came up the idea of the sesquiplane one afternoon while eating at the local Stand 'd buger with his nephew Marquez Bidet. While munching on an escargotburger (he liked his easy on the mayo but heavy on onions) he pondered aloud as to the design of his next aeroplane if it should have one thick or two outer struts. Marquez, who was injured in an accident that left him with only two fingers on his right hand, the index and middle, held up his only two remaining fingers. "Sacre Bleu!" exclaimed, Schneider, "the best of both worlds, a "V" strut." Thus was the infamous "V" introduced on the unsuspecting public, from the restrictive design of aircraft to the restrictive "V" chip in our televisions. (I personally can't watch some of my favorite programs.)

By the way, Bidet, because of the injury and subsequent loss of some function to his hand, went on to become an inventor in another area which would wash away the memory of his unfortunate accident.

Anyway, the 27 was sold (actually given) to an unsuspecting Italian air force to supplement their aircraft needs. Generally, the Italians would manufacture their own copy of French aircraft but they were unable to convince any of the companies to duplicate this "gift".

To make the best of a bad situation, the government sent the 27's over to Luigi (yo gonna love green) Pappagchi to paint over the drab French colors. Unfortunately, Luigi was low on green paint and was not able to paint out the colors on the lower roundels. This color scheme was know as the Italch scheme.

To everyone's relief, the war ended two years later and this aeroplane no longer humiliated it's pilots and annoyed it's enemies. (One cannot fly, fight and laugh at the same time.)